liar's game... i give up...

free time... you love to have it, but hate it sometimes too... when you have free time, sometimes you tend to let your mind wander a little bit... it could be the most random thing ever, its like digging for a well in egypt... you keep digging but you'll find more sand than anything else...

today a thought crept into my mind...one thing she told me was that she was not ready to begin another relationship even if she thinks about someone else, even if its only 10 minutes per day... so that got me thinking...

when they first started... so many years ago, i guess there was no one on her mind... but the funny thing was that i find that quite hard to believe, and theres only 2 explanation that i can come up with...

1) either the 10 minute per day thing is a nice way of rejection, which is horrible, since the door is left partially open for hope.

2) she never considered anything between us from the start, since they started right after we broke things off. so i guess i did not occupy anytime in her mind when they started.

either way... i felt like a loser, wasting so much time and effort on a liar... manipulated by a puppet master...

i will no longer be your driver, i will need to find my own happiness... and it cannot be found with you... so i quit this liar's game...

either way... i feel like a failure when it comes to doing things